Coping with change
By Erin Reeder
CMHA
How well do you deal with change? Most people will answer, “not very well” or even, “very badly”. What is it that makes change so hard to deal with for people? Change can be challenging because it requires an adjustment to our lives that we have become accustom to and comfortable with. We are creatures of habit and it can take time to adjust to change. Small changes can be easier to deal with, but when you have numerous small changes happen all at once or a large change it becomes more challenging and can cause major disruptions in our lives. These situations require major adaptations to our daily living.
Change is truly about dealing with loss, and grieving the way life use to be. With change we need to find a way to let go of the past, and accept how life is now. We often think of change as being negative, but we can also have positive changes and still struggle with the adjustment. For example, moving to a new home that you are excited about, you will probably still grieve the loss of your previous dwelling, even if you are moving to a better situation.
Some people deal with change better than others, but we can all learn how to deal with it better. One of the ways we can learn to deal with change is by planning ahead. Think about possible changes that may happen and think about ways you could handle it should it come to pass. Also, if you know a change is coming, start preparing early for it. If you plan ahead, sometimes you can limit or pace the changes as well. Sticking with the moving analogy, if you are planning to buy a new house and move, maybe you could start packing up non-essential items right away, or collecting boxes from stores to use for packing. However, be careful when planning ahead because you don’t want it to become overwhelming.
One problem with change is you can’t always plan for it. Often change is unexpected and unpredictable. When this happens, you need to find ways to deal with the uncertainty that change creates. This not-knowing is one of the hardest aspects of change. To ease your anxieties, one thing you can do is gather all the information you can about the change you are experiencing. You can research it by reading about it online or in a book, or you could talk with others who have gone through a similar situation. Learning all you can about what you are going through, can help you not feel so alone and provide you with the information you need to move forward.
Another way to deal with change is to reframe your thinking and understand the benefits. Sometimes we are stuck in our ways which can cause us to struggle to see the positives in the situation. Separate yourself from the situation, take a step back and look at it from another angle. Maybe the change you are experiencing isn’t as bad as what you believe it to be; maybe you could even take away something positive from the experience. Sometimes we need to take the time to reflect on the situation to help us see it more clearly.
When all else fails, find comfort where you can. Think about what in your life has remained stable and find comfort in the mundane. Routines can also be comforting in times of change and stress. Keep what you can the same in the midst of a constant changing environment. This will give you a sense of control in your life and allow you to feel more stable and better able to handle what has changed.
As you experience change, take care of yourself and reach out for support if you need it. Find ways to relax and re-energize yourself because grieving the losses that come from change can be exhausting. Take a bubble bath, go for a walk in nature, get together with some friends for laughs. Having good mental health is key to moving though change like a pro!
Erin Reeder is the Programs Manager at Canadian Mental Health Association, Alberta Southeast Region and can be reached at 403-504-1811. To find out more about CMHA programs and groups visit www.mentalwellnessmatters.ca. If you are in crisis, call the Distress Centre at (403) 1-800-784-2433.
