A Memo From A Child to a Parent

• Don’t spoil me. I know quite well that I ought not to have all I ask for. I’m only testing you.

• Don’t be afraid to be firm with me. I prefer it, and it makes me feel secure.

• Don’t let me form bad habits. I have to rely on you to detect them at an early stage.

• Don’t make me feel smaller than I am. It only makes me behave stupidly “big.”

• Don’t correct me in front of people if you can help it. I’ll take much more notice if you talk quietly with me in private.

• Don’t make me feel like my mistakes are sins. It upsets my sense of values.

• Don’t protect me from consequences. I need to learn the painful way sometimes.

• Don’t be too upset when I say, “I hate you.” Sometimes it isn’t you that I hate, but your power over me.

• Don’t take too much notice of my ailments. Sometimes they get me the attention I don’t need.

• Don’t nag. If you do, I shall have to protect myself by being deaf.

• Don’t forget that I cannot explain myself as well as I should like. That’s why I’m not always accurate.

• Don’t put me off when I ask questions. If you do, you’ll find that I stop asking and seek my information elsewhere.

• Don’t be inconsistent. That completely confuses me and makes me lose faith in you.

• Don’t tell me my fears are silly. They are terribly real, and you can do much to reassure me if you try and understand.

• Don’t ever suggest that you are perfect or infallible. It gives me too great a shock when I discover that you’re neither.

• Don’t ever think that it is beneath your dignity to apologize to me. An honest apology makes me surprisingly warm towards you.

• Don’t forget I love experimenting. I couldn’t get along without it, so please put up with it.

• Don’t forget how quickly I am growing up. It must be difficult for you to keep pace with me, but please try to.

• Don’t forget that I don’t thrive without lots of love and understanding, but I don’t need you to tell me that do I?

• Please keep yourself fit and healthy. I need you.