Reducing the development of bullying behaviours
By Alana Page
Bullies are just bad kids that become bad adults. That is a bold statement however every one of us has thought this at one time or another.
Typically, when the topic of bullying comes up, we focus on the person being bullied and how we can develop their resiliency or coping skills. As parents we teach our kids to stand up to their bullies or to just ignore them and they will go away. However, you can ask anyone who has ever been the victim of bullying and they will affirm that those approaches are easier said than done and, in all honesty, not very effective.
We, as human beings, have learned through experience that being proactive is much more effective than being reactive. To be proactive in our response to bullying we need to understand what the causes or contributing factors are of the bullying behaviours.
Research has determined that bullying behaviours do not stem from a single cause but through a combination of factors that include biological, environmental, psychological, social and situational aspects. Some examples of these factors include:
rigid or inconsistent discipline in the home
peer pressure
exposure to violence within the family
lack of warmth among family members
poverty
limited parenting skills
lack of empathy
addiction and/or mental health issues in the home
inability to access resources
high levels of violence in the community
genetics
low self-control
low self-esteem
With this knowledge in hand, we gain a better understanding of the complexities surrounding bullying behaviors which enable us to develop prevention and intervention programs. While there appears to be numerous programs created for school environments, the options, or strategies available that specifically address the prevention of the development of bullying behaviours is very limited, to the point of being almost nonexistent.
So, what do we do? Let's start with building a good foundation for our family. Humans are not born with parenting skills. It is something we learn by observing our own parents and/or caregivers. Unfortunately, many people grow up without positive role models to observe and learn these skills from.
Luckily, Medicine Hat has several organizations that offer programming to assist with the development of parenting skills. One such organization is Bridges Family Programs with locations in Medicine Hat, Bow Island and Brooks. They offer programs that start as early as pregnancy and extend to all members of the family group including grandparents. There are parent education services that focus on your families needs to help you increase the health and well-being of your family including budgeting, mediation, nutrition and communication. A complete list of the services they offer and how to contact the office is available on their website https://www.bridgesfamilyprograms.com/ .
With resources such as those offered at Bridges, we can work towards the building of stronger family foundations and do our part to reduce the development of bullying behaviours.
Alana Page BSW RSW is a member of the Care Team (Community Assisted Response Team) with the Canadian Mental Health Association, Alberta Southeast Region and can be reached at 403-504-1811. To find out more about CMHA programs and/or events visit http://www.cmha-aser.ca. If you are in crisis, call the Distress Centre at 1-800-784-2433