Growing Through Grief: Staying Centred Within
By Angela Clement
In this time of unrest and unknowns I cannot help but see the process of grief at work in all of us. At a time when we are shaking our heads and wondering how we could possibly be in this space, we are at the same time grieving what was. No it wasn’t perfect, we complained a lot, we still do. But yet the thought of not knowing what lies ahead seems so much worse. Certainly our sense of security is shaking a little as we wonder how bad things could really get. The news does not help us. Let’s face it, these reporters are just as concerned as we are. We all have our own thoughts about what might happen next. Yet no one REALLY knows for sure.
When I lost Blaine, there was a lot of uncertainty. I had no idea how life would go for me. In fact, three years later, it is still unfolding. I know it will continue to unfold as long as I live. I was told life is short, that we need to live life to the fullest and that happiness comes from within and yet losing my best friend and husband of thirty-five years was the thing that helped me completely and fully comprehend the fragility of life in a way I could have never understood otherwise.
What I felt when the rug had been ripped out from under my feet was something I cannot fully describe. It was the worst thing I could have ever imagined. There was a lot of fear and for good reason. There was so much I didn’t understand, so much I couldn’t comprehend and I felt so alone. And yet now looking back, I see what I have learned through that experience. I learned something about myself and what I truly value in life. I know what I want to stand up for in this life and I know what is important to me. Going through what I went through, those values are front and centre and they govern my every move and how I react to the world around me.
I know that I cannot control the world around me and I also know that I have full control of how I respond to the world. I know that the fear that everyone feels right now can only be conquered with compassion and support for others. We can pull together. So many of us in this country and those neighbours of ours down south are grieving the loss of what we had. We had a sense of security at a certain level and we all can see that perhaps things may drastically change. Yet fighting and reacting with hatred is not what we need. Just like when I lost Blaine, I can drop into my heart, give myself grace, acknowledge my fear and not lose focus on what is good in the world. I trust that if I stay centered within and keep my heart open that I will know exactly how to respond and so will so many others. We all go through this process of grief. This is another opportunity to embrace it and use it to pull together, to support one another and to inspire and give hope at a time when we need it most.
Grief is a pathway to transformation. It is sacred. We all go through it. It is not easy and it is not all bad. Humanity all share this experience in different ways. We can embrace it and allow it to connect us in ways we never knew were possible and teach us things we could not otherwise understand.
— Sending you lots of love, Angela