Growing Through Grief: Compassion
By Angela Clement
Lately I heard the phrase that empathy and sympathy are the near enemies of compassion. We can sometimes use these words interchangeably but in essence I have found out they are not the same. When we hear about another’s loss we often say we are sorry for their loss. We will send them our sympathies and we are empathetic. Yet this is not the same as being compassionate.
When we talk about empathy, we are talking about the ability to emotionally understand what others are feeling. We are trying to see things from their point of view. We are also putting ourselves in their place and feeling what they are feeling. Empathy comes at a cost. When you are empathizing with someone you are connecting with their emotion and whether it is pain of grief, anger, anxiety, whether you are conscious of it or not, it is activating energetically in your own body. This may be one reason why many people who are caregivers burn out. You have probably heard of empaths who are highly sensitive to others' emotional states. Empathic individuals benefit from understanding how this affects their own physical and emotional being and find ways to protect their energy.
When we sympathize with someone, we feel bad for them. We feel sorrow for their misfortune or even pity. When we pity someone we are in essence seeing the comparison between where they are and where we are in this moment. When you do something for someone out of pity, they can feel it and can be diminished by it. We want people to feel encouraged and empowered. We might feel we are not able to help this person or we maybe don’t feel obligated to help them. With sympathy, we differentiate between the person who is in pain and ourselves and we sympathize but we don’t really feel a strong desire to act on their behalf.
The reason that compassion is so different is that it continues to be loving. Often when we see someone suffering, our natural reaction is to turn to fear. We are afraid it might happen to us or we don’t know how to react so we turn away. People who are suffering have all kinds of strong emotions and often because of that, we can feel uncomfortable around them. Compassion is sticking with that person, not in a space of being empathic, because then we are falling into their emotion and in that state we cannot be helpful. It is loving them in a space where we are strengthening them. We are comforting, soothing and validating those feelings without lowering our own energetic frequency. We find actionable steps to offer support and love to those in pain. We are an agency for change.
So how do we practice compassion? It is important to be aware of your own feelings and emotions first. When we don’t put our own oxygen mask on first, it is hard to help others. When we are our best and connected to our knowing or wisdom, we naturally do what is best for everyone. We get ourselves into a calm, peaceful environment first. A good example is to try a kindness meditation. If you are interested in trying this, I have a free one on my website. It is about starting out with compassion and love for yourself and then extending that out to others around you and ending with the larger community. It is a beautiful practice. We are all energy. Each of our emotions is energy. If we are in a positive energetic space, it will radiate out to others.It has a much bigger effect than you think! When we practice compassion with ourselves, we will find compassion and love for others. We are all in this together. If you are interested in more information or just want to chat feel free to contact me at www.healingenergy.world