Check It Out: Raising kids who grow up looking for opportunities

By Joan Janzen

A wealthy businessman posted a photo of four children happily climbing on a valuable Lamborghini sports car. The man’s accompanying comment was, “The happiness of children is the most valuable thing in the world. A million-dollar Lamborghini can’t compare to that.” But the interesting part was - the kids didn’t belong to him, and neither did the Lamborghini.

Everyone would agree that the happiness of children is important, but it’s also important to remember they will be our future caregivers, professionals, employers and leaders. And what kind of leaders do we want in years to come?

Riley Gaines is an athlete who was interviewed by Xaviaer DuRousseau and commented, “We need to see more people leading by example rather than doing what they do for personal advancement or monetary gain.” Twenty-four-year-old Riley is one of those leaders who made the difficult decision to interrupt her education to advocate for fair competition in female sports.

Motivational speaker Patricia King recently spoke on social media about the qualities that are desired of a good leader. A good leader is someone who doesn’t expect to be served, but wants to serve others. “Not someone who wants to be great and is serving their own purposes,” she noted. A leader’s motive should always be to benefit others, not someone who promises something beneficial but the promise ends up being harmful.

Her next attribute for a leader was humility. “A leader who is humble, rather than someone who wants power, control and popularity,” she said. Talk to anyone from a communist nation, and they will tell you all about that.” Pastors who counsel many people during their daily routine see people who are pressured by the need to please others.

“There are people who work hard for recognition who are usually fighting for their personal identity,” Pastor Bill Johnson said. “But any identity that you get through applause of others, you’ll have to sustain through the applause of others.” He said people motivated by this need can be easily intimidated.

He went on to explain that one of the most basic needs is to be valued by someone. He said although being affirmed and celebrated in a family and community is a huge part of life, it’s not the source of one’s identity. “Identity has to come through the wonders of being created by a loving God who places value on every life,” he said.

After reading numerous articles written by nurses and hospice staff who work with people at the end of their lives, he noticed one common thread. “The number one regret is that they lived their life according to the expectations of people around them and not according to their dreams,” he observed.

Mike Rowe, well-known for the show Dirty Jobs, also addressed this topic in a recent online interview on TBN. “What’s changed is we’ve told kids that happiness depends on what they do, not on who they are,” he said. It was a life lesson he learned in his own career.

He had twenty years of success on television and a thriving business. “But it had no real inherent meaning for me. Dirty Jobs straightened me out,” he said. “It forced me to be humble in a way that I never would have imagined on camera.”

He recalled an episode where a pig farmer collected the leftovers from Las Vegas casinos and fed it to his pigs. As a result, his pigs grew like crazy, and he saved the casinos an incredible amount of money in landfill costs. Although he raised pigs, the man thought of himself as a conservationist and found true value in his work. So much so, that when he was offered $70 million for his property, he refused. Mike observed that figuring out how to love your job that provides a need can be defined as success.

“None of the people on Dirty Jobs were doing the things they originally thought they would be doing. They were people who were looking for opportunities,” Mike said.

A comment posted by someone listening to the interview was also relevant. The man said he has his masters in Physics. “I was offered a job with a pay cheque I could never have imagined possible and did the job well,” he posted. “But I retired early and bought a sheep farm. I work harder moving 20 tons of poop every year than I ever worked before, and I love it! Now I’m finally happy.”

Those stories are living examples of Bill Johnson’s observation that the need to please people can cause a person to lose courage and take a safer path that is more well thought of by others.

He also said, “Parenting, if done correctly, provides identity, enables children to understand their purpose and destiny and awareness of unlimited resources. Because there’s always enough to do what’s right.”

There was a 16-year-old skateboarder who had the courage to do what she knew to be right despite opposing forces. The bronze medalist from Brazil was instructed on what she wasn’t allowed to say publicly. Nevertheless, before accepting her medal, she smiled and signed, “Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life.” 

The happiness of children is important, but it’s even more important that they know they are valued by God and their family. Then they’re more likely to have the courage to pursue their dreams and possess a passion for serving others.